i’ve waited for so long..
July 4th, 2009 by socheezyand this is it!
i am over you! thank you for the memories and the lessons though..
i am now a free woman..
The Meantime Girl
June 28th, 2009 by socheezyShe’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One”. You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime.
She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable – she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs – she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.
You’ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she’ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot.
And someday we won’t be around.
*grabbed from atr gica
95% over you!
June 22nd, 2009 by socheezysee? 5% nalang…
passages and lines from my favorite author: paulo Coelho, The Zahir
May 31st, 2009 by socheezy“‘When I had nothing more to lose, I was given everything. When I ceased to be who I am, I found myself. When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny. Perhaps there’s something wrong with me, I don’t know, perhaps my marriage was a dream I couldn’t understand while it lasted.
All I know is that even though I can live without her, I would still like to see her again, to say what I never said when we were together: I love you more than I love myself. If I could say that, then I could go on living, at peace with myself, because that love has redeemed me.’”
In contradiction, love grows in strength. In confrontation and transformation,
love is preserved.
“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.This force is on earth to make us happy, to bring us closer to God and to our neighbor, and yet, given the way that we love now, we enjoy one hour of anxiety for every minute of peace.”
happy to see that you are happy..
May 29th, 2009 by socheezyIt has been almost 3 months since i deleted you from my friends list here on fs. Yet i keep on checking your profile.
you have found HER. the woman whom you’d like to offer that LOVE for. She is pretty. You look good together. i dont want to sound like a hypocrite but i am happy for you. because i can never be like her.
thoughts are running so fast i could not put them into writing all at once.
how i blame myself for not showing you the real me. for hiding my feelings because i am so afraid that you’ll hurt me again.
how i wish we can be friends again. not now, not yet.. maybe in the future when we are both mature and strong enough to face each other.
oh i really wish you’d stay as happy every single day of your life..
and don’t mind me..im on my search for love and happiness..
You may never realize it but you have taught me how to wait for the man God will send to win my heart. But meanwhile, i will face life as it is..
Thank you.
Til we meet again!
now i’m almost over you…
May 26th, 2009 by socheezyayun lang..
almost there..
getting there..
warning if you love twilight, then DON’T READ THIS POST(TWILIGHT RETOLD)
May 1st, 2009 by socheezy(grabbed from kiko’s page…)
Kasi pare ganito daw yun. May isa daw babae na hot daw pare pero maputla siya kasi hindi siya inalagaan ng nanay niya pare. Tapos pare emo daw siya kasi nga daw hindi siya mahal ng mundo at para siyang patay na bata na galit sa mundo. Tapos pare, lumipat daw siya ng tirahan kasi daw masyado daw siyang emo para sa luma niyang tirahan. Sabi niya sa nanay niya “Tangina mo nay gusto ko lumipat kay tay”. Tangina pare hindi nagalit nanay niya. Sabi lang ng nanay niya “Tangina mo pare wag ka magmura”.
So lumipat siya sa tatay niya di ba? Pagkarating niya dun sabi niya, “Tangina erpat bakit maulan dito?” Sabi ng erpat niya “Gago “bur” months na! Malamig na tangena”. So nagtaka yung babaeng simula ngayon ay tatawagin na lang nating “babaeng maputla at emo”.
So pumasok siya sa school di ba? Binigyan siya ng truck ng tatay niya pare. Sabi ng tatay niya “Tangina mo sa’yo na tong truck ko”. Sabi niya “Salamat tay”.
Pagkarating niyang school tsong, may nakita siyang lalaking mukhang bangkay pero pogi. Sakto. Pogi pero mukhang bangkay. Sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo “Hot pare”.
Nung bio lab na ni babaeng maputla at emo, natagpuan niyang lab partner niya yung poging bangkay. So nung tinignan siya nung poging bangkay, ang asim ng mukha nito. Mukhang nandiri ata kay babaeng maputla at emo.
Sabi ni poging bangkay “Tangina mo”. Sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo “Tangina KA”. Sabi ni poging bangkay “Tangina NIYA oh *tumuro sa teacher nila*”. Sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo “Oo nga noh. TANGINA MO”. Sabi ni poging bangkay “Tangina mo gago bampira ako”. Tapos naghubad siya ng damit at kumintab ang katawan niya kasi linagyan niya ng glitters ang abs niya kasi tigas siya at ganun na ang mga tigas ngayon na nagpupuntang emba.
So pare na in love si babaeng maputla at emo kay poging bangkay. Si poging bangkay naman sige lang kasi sex din daw yun. So ayun. Angshweet shweet nila.
“Eow poh… ahihihihi”
“Bebe mwahugz,….. ^^,”
So tapos nun nagpunta sila sa damuhan kasi…. alam mo na. Tapos sabi ni poging bangkay “Ikaw na buhay ko ngayon” sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo “Tangina mo gago patay ka na”. sabi ni poging bangkay “TANGINA KA”.
Tapos nagsex sila.
So basically pare yun lang yung mga importanteng nangyari sa buong storya. Intense noh? Kaya pala nahohook lahat ng tao.
ang butil ng buhangin
April 12th, 2009 by socheezyHindi ako ang tipo ng tao na medaling makaclose. Kahit ilang taon na tayong magkasama, magka grupo o magkaklase hindi ako madaling kaibiganin. Not that I am hard to get along with. Hindi ako lang talaga akobasta basta nagpapapasok ng tao sa buhay ko, lalo na kung alam kong aalis lang din sila.
It is hard to invest in relationships. Why? Because when you engage yourself in relationships, you are not only sharing your time with that person. You share with him/her a part of you. So by losing that person, you lose a part of you too.
Hindi ako basta basta pumapasok sa relationships, pero once I get in, hindi din ako basta basta nag lelet go.
Katulad ng mga buhangin, ang mga tao ay nililipad rin ng hangin…dinadala sa ibang baybayin.. kaya piling pili lang ang mga buhangin sa palad ko.. para sa pagsara ng aking palad, lahat sila kasama ko pa rin…
At habag sinusulat ko ito ay naalala ko ang isang butil ng buhangin na no’oy sinubukan konghuwag pakawalan. Mula noon ay natutunan kong maging makasarili at piliin ng mabuti ang mga taong papapasukin ko sa buhay. Hindi na ako madaling magtiwala, pakiramdam ko tuloy ay katulad mo, aalis din ang mga tao. At hindi ko naman maaaring pigilan yun. But I can spare myself from the pain. How? By not investing my emotions. By not being too attached.
agape
April 11th, 2009 by socheezyim writing this with a hope that someday you will stumble upon this site and realize that all the posts(almost) i have written are all about you. how you annoyed me, how i wanted to forget about you, how you make me feel so insecured, how hard is is for me to forget you.
just a few nights ago i dreamt about you. everything seemed so real. you were so distant you only smiled when you saw me. but i realized you look so happy in your own world that you dont really need me. you payed me a glance and i smiled but i know u knew that inside i feel the pain of seeing you happy without me. and so i decided to leave you that way.
and the love is still there. it will never fade away. i will just love you from afar. meanwhile, i want you to be happy.
tired
March 30th, 2009 by socheezyyou just pushed me a step away from you..
just a few more steps and i swear, i’ll be over you.
it’s about time i face reality..
i’m tired of being just “the other one”
i know i deserve more..
and if you can’t give me what i deserve, then it’s not really worth the wait and the sacrifices..
you know who and what you are to me..
but then, i do get tired..
it is not at all times that i’ll be there for you.
now i’m getting out of my comfort zone..
ang tagal ko ng pinost yan, but until now i havent realy moved on..
